40+ Instagram Bio Quotes Funny to Make Your Profile Stand Out

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Writing the perfect Instagram bio isn’t always easy, but our funny IG quotes can instantly grab attention and set the tone for your profile. With our witty quotes, you’re sure to make a memorable first impression and establish a dominating presence. 

Our collection of funny Instagram bio quotes and catchphrases is tailored to add some fun and humor to your Instagram profile.

So, elevate your bio with our Instagram bio quotes funny and make it the cornerstone of impactful online engagements.

Funny Bio Quotes

Woman laughing as she browses funny bio quotes on mobile.

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There is no better way to captivate your audience than by adding humorous bio quotes. Explore our Instagram bio quotes funny that will assist in spreading laughter amongst your followers and building an authentic connection with them:

  • “I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing
  • “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
  • “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” – Marilyn Monroe
  • “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
  • “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
  • “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
  • “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
  • “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” – Mae West
  • “There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” – Henry Kissinger
  • “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins
  • “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

Along with our funny quotes to put in your bio, you can browse our list of funny picture captions to add a dose of humor to your Instagram posts.

Funny Quotes for Instagram Bio

Three friends having fun while discovering funny bio quotes.

Source: Freepik

For those who seek to bring a smile to their follower’s faces and make first impressions count, the perfect humorous quotes can make all the difference. Discover our funny bio quotes to add flair to your Instagram bio:

  • “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson
  • “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” – Lawrence Ferlinghetti
  • “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields
  • “I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
  • “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” – John Barrymore
  • “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
  • “I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.” – Steven Wright
  • “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein
  • “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman
  • “I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.” – Demetri Martin

Witty Catchphrases for Insta Bio

Three friends laughing as they explore funny bio quotes on laptop.

Source: Freepik

Witty catchphrases can quickly capture attention while giving your followers a quick glimpse of your personality and vibe. Have a look at our humorous catchphrases, and let your Instagram bio funny steal the limelight:

  • Fluent in emoji and sarcasm.
  • Reality called. I hung up!
  • Fluent in three languages: English, Emoji, and Typos.
  • Running on caffeine and confidence.
  • A professional overthinker and under-caffeinated.
  • Don’t study me; you won’t graduate.
  • Spreading good vibes like they’re contagious.
  • In a committed relationship with my couch.
  • The only marathons I run are Netflix series, six episodes at a time.
  • Currently holding a world record for the most inside jokes with myself.
  • I shine so bright, even my shadows need sunglasses.
  • Driving on the highway of life with a few flat tires.

In addition to these witty English catchphrases, we also offer a fantastic collection of Spanish captions for Instagram posts which are perfect for adding a bilingual touch to your profile.

Amusing Bios for Instagram

Couple laughing as they explore funny quotes to put on Instagram bio.

Source: Freepik

What better than amusing Instagram bios to convey your unique and fun personality to everyone? Read on and make use of our amusing bios to make your Instagram profile more engaging:

  • Living on Wi-Fi and caffeine.
  • Taking a lifetime course in overthinking & procrastination.
  • I’m still trying to remember why I joined Instagram.
  • Using more sarcasm than oxygen on a daily basis.
  • Living on the edge, often of my couch.
  • Believer in magic, karma, and carbohydrates.
  • Not lazy; just in energy-saving mode and snack-seeking.
  • Searching for Wi-Fi, coffee, and the meaning of life.
  • Surviving on stolen Wi-Fi and daydreams of beach vacations.
  • Ambitious in my dreams, lazy on my couch.
  • Making memories and occasionally oversharing my love for potato chips.


The right level of wit and humor can make all the difference in your Instagram bio and put you in the spotlight.

We hope that our list of Instagram bio quotes funny will assist you in crafting the perfect bio for your Instagram profile that resonates with your audience.

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